- support385039
- Sep 13, 2024
- 6 min read
DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible for any balderdash, gobbledygook, or idiotic mumbo-jumbo you may find in this newsletter since I just got back from Scotland late last night. Also, there may be typos. Sue me.
Happy Monday! (Or Tuesday, if jetlag smacks me in the face and I don't get this sent 'til tomorrow 😂) Now, before we get distracted by monster 🍆's and exorcisms, make sure you scroll to the bottom of this email for a super cool urban fantasy giveaway that includes a bunch of signed books, including a certain pink beauty!
Okay, now where was I? Oh, right - Scotland!
Britt, Aaron, and I got there a few days before the convention (and immediately after Dragon Con, in my case) to explore Edinburgh, but I seriously regret doing that. You see, we ended up venturing into these dark, spooky underground tunnels that housed hundreds - if not thousands - of people over the centuries in what were pretty appalling conditions. Apparently, the spiritual activity down there is so high, a coven of witches took up residence there a few decades ago to harness that supernatural energy into channeling their spells. This is the altar where they practiced, which has been preserved behind locked bars:
In general, the ghosts and witches got along - except for in one room. That room housed a spirit so malignant, the witches had to create a circle of stones to trap it inside.
So what does Britt do?
Yup, you guessed it.
After she ignored my pleas to stay out of the summoning circle, I reminded her that demonic possession is NOT a valid reason for paid time off. She apparently didn't like that, because her head started spinning around as radioactive green goo spewed violently from her mouth.
(In other words, a typical Tuesday 😂)
Anyway, even though Britt was kind of agitated and exclusively speaking ancient Greek from that moment forward, we had a great time exploring some of the gorgeous sites of Edinburgh. We actually saw some of Scotland's elusive blue skies, too!
And then came RARE!
I was so incredibly excited and honored to sit next to my new "Bookstie" and emotional support author, Annette Marie (who also happens to be my favorite UF author of all time)! Her team and mine had so much fun together! Our PAs are now besties, as are our husbands 😂
On the other side of my table was Opal Reyne, a positively delightful Aussie who has a penchant for monster smut. And I don't mean shifter romance, where the raunchy stuff takes place while the werewolf / leopard / silverback gorilla is in his hunky and muscular human form, but, like, MONSTER smut:
And because she's a brilliant marketer, Opal has had all sorts of custom x-rated artwork commissioned for her series. But she didn't just stop at two-dimensional art. She ventured ALL the way into - ahem - "artistically explicit three dimensional sculptures."
(If you don't want to see HIGHLY detailed monster d*ldos, you should definitely scroll past this next part.)
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Apparently the tentacles wrap around the head like alien face huggers, so that's fun!🐙 At one point I ran over to Annette's table waving a massive jiggling d*lgo and shouting, "Look, Annete! Giant monster c*cks!" To which she paled slightly and said something along the lines of, "That's a big ol' nope from me, thanks!" (Only to wander over to Opal's table a few minutes later🤣)
I haven't read much (read: any) true monster smut. Have any of you read Opal's work, or any other books like hers? If so, what did you think?
Speaking of purple tentacled monster appendages, I have GOT to remember that people actually read these newsletters. Do you know how many gals came up to me and asked me about stuffing fish in my knickers or hoisting myself into filing cabinets? (I'll take "An uncomfortably high number of people" for $500, Alex!🥲)
But that's one of the many joys of RARE; everyone there is a little bit unhinged in all the best ways. For example, I had folks asking me to sign various parts of their bodies, gifting me crocheted d*cks and g-string bookmarks, and telling me to write "whatever" I wanted in their autograph books. Which I of course obliged:
And before you all yell at me for defacing their belongings, here are a few of the presents I was given:
I was just driving the same speed limit as the rest of the speeding traffic, Officer!🤣
For those of you who are still here and haven't immediately unsubscribed, we have a number of fun goodies that just arrived and/or restocked in my shop!
My favorite is probably the Topie hoodie, which is so lightweight and incredibly soft!! You can get a closer look of some of the new items in this video I made that TikTok only showed to 6 people. (WTF, Tok?! It's not like I was talking about monster d*cks! (Er......this time.))
SURPRISE GIVEAWAY: The first person to reply to this with a piggy emoji (🐷) gets a full set of 5 Topie pins for FREE in thanks for actually reading the newsletter!!
As a reminder, we are getting a new shipment of holographic rainbow Gilded Blood omnibuses, Bone Whisperer Special Edition Duologies, and a brand-new revamped Lightning Conjurer Deluxe Omnibus in early November.
What we are NOT getting is another shipment of gold Gilded Blood omnibuses. Much like gold blood, I'd like to keep the gilded version of the special edition special and rare. So if you've been eyeing those golden, glittering sprayed edges, the time to buy is now!
(Don't mind the mess on the floor. This summer as been pure, unbridled chaos.)
And now for that giveaway I was telling you about! Basically, you follow all the authors listed here on Instagram. (And while you're on the page, you can peruse the big book sale all of us are hosting!)
After that, you go finalize your entry here.
The winner gets a crazy number of prizes, including a $20 Amazon Gift Card plus 16 urban fantasy books and swag:
(Yep, that lovely pink book is mine and the first (and possibly last) time I'm offering it in a giveaway!)
Okay, my brain is grumbling for sleep and my stomach is grumbling for food, even though it's 3 pm and I shouldn't be needing either of those things.
Have a wonderful week ahead, be well, and happy reading!❤️
If you're reading this on Goodreads or on my blog, be sure to sign up for my newsletter to get the most exciting updates sent directly to your inbox!
A Word from our Queen Helper Bee 👑🐝
WOW! I just have to take a moment to share how grateful I am right now. Being able to travel with Rachel (and Aaron) to Scotland for RARE Edinburgh and be right back in the assistant element of a book convention like when I first met Rachel was such a surreal experience. Add playing tourist and being our goofy a$$ selves in another country was such a highlight for me! I mean come on, castles, catacombs and red telephone booths?! Yes please!
ps. Those red doors were A LOT heavier than I thought they would be! Oh and, pretty sure I brought the sunshine there - grateful for not needing half of what I packed or having to fix my hair due to "rainy Scotland" LOL. 😂
Meeting readers in person, and hearing their stories of how much Rachel’s books have influenced their lives, brought and back their love for reading was so cool. The gifts were hilarious and beyond thoughtful and I thought it was really really cool when a few of you even asked to have me in your photos too! I was taken aback a little, NGL. I love how much you’ve all welcomed me into the Rachel world and I can’t wait for more adventures to come.
Getting to meet Annette Marie and her team, and literally making a new bestie with her PA was SO much fun! Us PA's gotta stick together and Francine is an absolute delight! I'm already looking forward to our next convention together.
Also, knowing that while we were abroad all the orders were being handled with the utmost care was just icing on the cake and I couldn’t be more thankful for our new fulfillment coordinator, Dani! Thanks for holding down the fort while we were gone babe! You’re truly amazing and we appreciate having you on the team more than you know!
That’s all I have for now so thank you for having me!
XoXoX
Britt 🫶🏼
