I'm going to cut straight to the point (with a few more important announcements at the bottom of this email).
As many of you know, author Annette Marie and I have been FIGHTING TO THE DE💀TH!!!
I mean... having a very reasonable, kindly-worded adult conversation regarding how her STUPID BOOKS (that are actually really, really great) have been TAKING OVER MY DAMN BOOKSHELF! 🤬
Apologies, I feel very strongly about this matter. Anyway...
In case you have not been following along with this very public author spat of ours, allow me to regale you.
The day began like any other - on the toilet - but I'll spare you the details and move forward to later that afternoon. I was minding my own business, in my own office, when I realized that the bookshelf that is SUPPOSED to be for my published books, along with my favorite books of all time, are now completely full because Annette Marie's books are taking up all the space. (Rude.)
So, like a reasonable well-adjusted adult, I called her out publicly on social media.
*Cue unhappy author face and angry music.*
After demanding that Annette buy me a new bookshelf, I *very* patiently waited for her to comply with my demands. AND WHAT DOES SHE DO?!
She buys me a new bookshelf...
BUILT FOR ANTS! 🐜🐜🐜
*Cue simmering rage and a deep-seated need for REVENGE*
So, I set off on a journey of discovery. I scaled the highest mountain, swam across the deepest ocean and followed the rainbow🌈 to find my revenge!
Just kidding, I didn't do any of that this close to the Silver Blood release date (...did I take a shower this week? I can't remember... Ah well, maybe next week).
But what I DID do, was drive to the store and buy some markers, sticky notes, 10 empty boxes, 36 yards of clear tape and a package of c🐓ck bookmarks! (Ones of the male genitalia variety, not the bird)
*Cue maniacal laughing and ominous music*
Now, all I had to do was sit back, relax and wait for Annette Marie to finally give up and acknowledge me as the supreme ruler of all author spats. 👑
And also buy me a bigger bookshelf.
But APPARENTLY, the moderators of certain social media platforms would have rather me sent Annette Marie bookmarks of the small, winged bird variety, seeing as her account was flagged for ahem something inappropriate (who knew that graphic, phallic-shaped bookmarks were frowned upon?)
In her displeasure at this turn of events, Annette Marie then decided to challenge me to a DUEL. A LITERAL DUEL.
AT HER HOME.
IN THE ARCTIC FORKING TUNDRA. 🥶🥶🥶(a.k.a. Alberta, Canada)
*Cue absolute utter disbelief and increased author rage that she hasn't given up yet*
So anyway, I just got home from Canada. 🍁 If you're curious to see how our EPIC SERIES OF DUELS / FEATS OF STRENGTH / ICE-CREAM EATING turned out, you can check out the full, unedited video below. But fair warning: it is GRAPHIC. (a.k.a. ph*llic-shaped items were involved.)
Well, now that you are all caught up on the epic saga that is your life when you're just a regular ol' fantasy author, I have a couple of quick things before you run off to do whatever it is you were doing before getting distracted by this email:
Are you jumping up and down yet? I did. And let me tell you, they are even SHINIER in person 😍
If you haven't nabbed yours yet, they are currently $30 off the hardcover price PLUS an extra 15% off with promo code RR15. Happy reading/drooling!
And, in case you haven't heard, Silver Blood officially has a release date of February 18th! That's right, you are getting it EARLY!
You can preorder yours on Amazon or get your signed copy here.
Stay warm and safe!!!❤️
Itching for MORE snark, shenanigans, and signed bananas? Come join my brand-new reader group, Rachel's Renergades! 🍌 🍌 🍌
If you're reading this on Goodreads or on my blog, be sure to sign up for my newsletter to get the most exciting updates sent directly to your inbox!
✨A Word from our Marketing Mistress✨
Welp, I think you can officially call me a Renergade now!
Not only because Rachel's books have taken over MY bookshelf (along with my office... dining room table... and craft room), but because they have taken up my free time as well. (And I'm not mad about it- I've almost finished reading all of them since she hired me two months ago)
Working for Rachel has been... um... interesting. I've gotten in trouble with my husband for stealing his leaf blower and had to deal with Rachel calling emergency meetings, asking that I stop everything I'm doing to help her count c🐓cks.
Also, in case you aren't aware, when Rachel spells things phonetically (you know: A as in Alpha, Z as in Zebra), she also likes to say "P as in Pen🍆s" with a completely straight face. (Not even kidding you, she did this to me today and she had to repeat the word for me like 4 times because I couldn't stop laughing)
Anyway, this has all been a dream come true. I'm a baby indie author myself and I'm so grateful that I have been given this chance to do all the things I enjoy, and to be able to work full time in the industry I already know and love. 🖤
It's been so much fun getting to know a bunch of you, but in case you don't know me, my name is Courtney, and I write both ✨romantasy✨ under my pen name Courtney Rosaleen and 🖤dark romance🖤 under Rosaline Jay!
I am so excited to have my fourth published book, The Heart, coming out on February 6th! 😯 And because I am a little competitive, you should know that my new release has more c🐓cks than Rachel's new release... like... by a lot. So, HA! (Although, it is a Reverse Harem... does just adding MORE men count as cheating?🤔)
Anywho, I'll be lurking around Rachel's social media for the foreseeable future, so if you see me in comments, come say hi! 🫡
🖤Courtney, Marketing Mistress
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