I went to RMRR and all I got was Tuberculosis

In short, it was absolutely lovely event! (BRAVO to the organizers!)

Now, you're probably wondering where the tuberculosis comes in.

Well. Sometime after nightfall, my back-to-back conventions and insomnia finally caught up with me.  By that point, we were all gathered together in the hotel's fancy event hall for a lovely pajama dinner.

The moment dinner was finished, two male narrators came onstage. Now, these gentlemen were perfectly fine, talented male narrators. The "problem" occurred when they started reading R-rated "snuggle" scenes - sans prelude - in a very committed, theatrical manner.

For those of you who know you, it won't surprise you to hear that even at my best I'm not mature enough to handle such an event, let alone when I'm slap-happy and sleep-deprived. And before any of you @ me, I want you to know, I tried. I REALLY tried.

That said, as soon as the growling started, I lost it. Which meant Dani, Grace, Kaylie, and Hope also lost it.

And I don't mean quiet, muffled giggles "lost it". I mean hysterical snorting and tears, with hands clamped over mouths to stifle the noises. I even shoved a cloth napkin in my mouth out of sheer desperation.

That's when the narrator started adding purred good girl's to the dramatic growls and grunts.

Aaaaaaand I was undone.

Now, for some reason, no one else in the room appeared to find the situation as funny as we did. (Probably because they are mature, high-functioning adults.) And because our table was at the very front and center of the room, we couldn't get up and excuse ourselves without  further interrupting this VERY serious smút readalong.

So, I genuinely  had no choice but to resort to equally-serious evasive maneuvers for the sake of preserving some semblance of social decorum. 

I had to fake a medical emergency.

At my closest disposal was a dish of raspberry sauce from dessert, the perfect shade of blood-red for your typical tuberculosis and/or ebola outbreak. Seems like a pretty good reason to leave early, right? Plus, the tears (from laughing) were an extra added bonus to lend to the severity of aforementioned fake medical emergency.

Grace and Dani were fully on board and committed to the cause like the loyal employees they are. The problem was, we couldn't stop laughing long enough to organize our sleuthy, ingenious, tuberculosis-y exit.